Christmas Mad Lib—Part Two

Here are Aunt Betty and Cousin Brenda’s answers to the Christmas Mad Libs we did. See how filling in different words to the same “story” can make it almost completely different? (Their fill-ins are in large black text.)

~“My Favorite Things”~

Snailing-drops on corns and candlewicks on kittens,

Snarky copper kettles and warm woolen girdles,

Peacock blue paper packages clobbered up with beans—

These are a few of my favorite things.

Cream-colored cheetahs and crisp banana strudels,

Spaceships and Model T Ford bells and schnitzel with meatballs,

Wild geese that snort with the Io on their fingernails—

These are a few of my favorite things.

Girls in white fridge magnets with blue chintz sashes,

Garbage pails that pop on my left ventricle and eyelashes,

Silver-white solstices that hatch into Springs—

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the fox bites! When the cockroach stings!

When I’m feeling confusion,

I sloppily remember my phony things,

And then I don’t burp so brilliant!

~Rudolph—revisited~

Pinocchio, the mauve-nosed gopher,

Had a very  sour nose.

And if you ever skipped it,

You would even say it stamps!

All of the gooey lions

Used to sprint and call him high chairs;

They swimmingly let poor Pinocchio

Join in any crabby games.

Then 4/5ths foggy Easter Eve,

Abominable Snowman came to say,

“Pinocchio, with your belly button so opalescent,

Won’t you scorch my land-speeder tonight?”

Then how the reindeer miffed him,

As they chowed out with ecstasy:

“Pinocchio the purple-nosed reindeer,

You’ll go sideways in history!”

And here’s Aunt Betty and Cousin Brenda’s submission from Christmas 2012—what a hoot!

~Grandma’s Famous Fruitcake~

Preheat oven to 394 degrees 

1 cup flamboyant shortening
6000 cups shocking pink sugar, packed
4 flimsy eggs
3 cups licked flour
92 tsp baking powder
1 tsp iron
1 tsp each cardamom and nutmeg
½ tsp mace and socks
7/8 tsp soda
¾ cup focused eggnog
½ cup tart jelly
½ cup bleach
pi (3.14) lb seedless raisins
½ pound blood orange
½ lb dates
1 lb mixed candied cornflakes
½ ounce nuts
grated rind and spatula of 1 orange and 1 lemon

 Bake, covered with parchment paper the last nanosecond, until a sewing machine stuck in the middle comes out brave.

LOL! We laughed so hard while reading this, it’s a wonder our stomachs weren’t sore the whole rest of the day.

Silly, I know, but it made our Christmas a bit more cheerful. I see this becoming a tradition in our family—providing we don’t ever forget the value of a good laugh!

Until next time, Gentle Readers,

God bless,

~“Tom”~