Well,
apparently none of my Gentle Readers were able to participate in the Christmas Mad
Lib thingie this year. So I’m going to go ahead and post Grandma’s and Aunt
Betty and Cousin Brenda’s contributions—all hilarious, of course!
First up,
Grandma’s submissions (her fill-ins are in large
black text):
~“My Favorite Things”~
Snow-drops on girls and boys on
kittens,
Festive copper kettles and warm woolen scarves,
Purple paper packages confused up with tea kettles—
These are a few
of my favorite things.
Cream-colored
giraffes and crisp watermelon
strudels,
Place mats and baby
buggy bells and schnitzel
with eggs,
Wild geese that
fly with the angel on their elbows—
These are a few
of my favorite things.
Girls in white
handkerchiefs with blue canvas
sashes,
Daddies that scream
on my belly button and eyelashes,
Silver-white
winters that skip into Springs—
These are a few
of my favorite things.
When the squirrel bites! When the bumble bee
stings!
When I’m
feeling excited,
I quietly remember my careful
things,
And then I don’t
fly so industrious!
~Rudolph—revisited~
Jack, the orange-nosed rat,
Had a very
selfish nose.
And if you ever
shopped it,
You would even
say it steals!
All of the
other muskrats
Used to shiver and call him ironing
boards;
They sharply let poor Jack
Join in any
quick games.
Then 14 balmy Christmas Eve,
Scrooge came to say,
“Jack, with your elbow so pleasant,
Won’t you
break my sleigh tonight?”
Then how the
reindeer exploded him,
As they appeared out with crying:
“Jack the pink
-nosed reindeer,
You’ll go
north in history!”
~Grandma’s Famous Fruitcake~
Preheat oven to 62 degrees
1 cup gorgeous shortening
522 cups
persimmon sugar, packed
4 unfortunate eggs
3 cups raised flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp calcium
1 tsp each nutmeg and nutmeg
½ tsp mace and cupcakes
4 ½ tsp soda
¾ cup knelt root beer
½ cup tart
jelly
½ cup vinegar
15 lb seedless raisins
½ pound pears
½ lb dates
1 lb mixed
candied forefingers
½ half a ton nuts
grated rind and Santa Claus of 1 orange and 1 lemon
Bake, covered
with parchment paper the last one
month, until a spade stuck in the middle comes
out pretty.
God bless, and
have a Happy New Year!
~“Tom”~
Ok, those are just hilarious!! Half a ton of nuts... lol! xD
ReplyDeleteHehe! Loving these! If I hadn't been so busy, I would have totally done these. Thanks for sharing:)
ReplyDelete